While most will know that a broken marriage is unhealthy for your heart, did you know that it’s also unhealthy for you and your family socially and economically, too? Across the years, studies have revealed that broken marriages are related to various negative setbacks such as poverty, debt, and children’s heath among many.
The bad thing here is that divorce cases locally are on the rise. The Malaysian divorce rate has soared by 105% from 2002-2009 which implies that more and more people are experiencing the negative implications of this as well.
Here are just SOME of the observed correlations:
- Separated/divorced families have experienced at least a 70% reduction of their household wealth
- 42.4% of children of divorced mothers who remained single fell to poverty
- Divorced individuals were 2-3% more likely to get into debt as compared to married couples
- Children who grew up within an intact marriage were found to have a higher likelihood being in healthy lasting marriages themselves
- Kids who lived with 2 married parents were, on average,healthier physically as compared to those who didn’t
- Children who have married parents that stay married have a lower drug and alcohol abuse rate
- Married men had a longer lifespan than single or divorced men
Keeping it Together
Below are a few recommendations that address the usual problems that married couples face. Following them should more or less cover the basics and help you keep your marriage happy as well as help you from falling into the traps that a broken marriage triggers.
Always make time for “Quality Time”
Always allot a regular time where your focus is just your spouse… and this time should be spent enjoying each other’s company and doing things that you BOTH like. This means that having dinner while both of you are simply reporting to each other what happened in the day DOESN’T count. Watch a movie together. Cuddle. Play around. Remember that you married your spouse and not your work/career/hobby. A spouse feeling lonely because he/she doesn’t get the attention they deserve is a common reason for infidelity.
Respect for each other is a MUST
One should feel best when they are with their spouse. When either spouse feels that they aren’t appreciated or feels belittled in the relationship, the whole marriage is in trouble. Avoid shouting, cursing, and/or talking down to your partner. Empower them and reassure them that they matter. While it’s impossible to not fight at all, make sure to work it out calmly afterwards when you do. Recognize when you have hurt the feelings of the other and take the initiative to apologize. Apologizing may be difficult for some but nothing shows respect clearer than by swallowing your pride.
Keep communications between each other clear
Say what you feel clearly and listen to your spouse closely. Never assume what the other understands or is feeling. Many arguments stem from wrong assumptions. Clear communications go a long way in terms of subverting problems/issues that could take a toll in your marriage.
Maintain Sexual Intimacy
Wholehearted sex is a very integral part of any marriage. I say “wholehearted” because instances where you just indulge your spouse’s request to have sex and they detect that you are not really into it just results in more trouble for the marriage. Having no sex at all is a big red flag as it makes your partner wonder why you don’t want them.
60% of all divorce cases are one way or another caused by infidelity and, usually, the reason for this is because the other was getting frustrated due to how the offending party did not get what they needed (i.e. the above reasons) from their partner. Hence, aside from avoiding “temptations” out there, both of you should take the time to remove the possible causes that would lead to cheating.