By: Deanne Banares Dimacali
For women across the board, there is simply no ‘first’ more spectacular (or more gripping!) than being pregnant. Sure, there are first dates, first jobs, first days of married life. But being pregnant for the first time? That’s a wholly different story. Pregnancy asks a woman not to just give up her heart but also her body. Simply put, everything of her very self for another human being.
Because of this extraordinary sacrifice, pregnancy is quite the challenge, especially for first-time moms. Most of the time, we’re so desperate to make sense out of what’s happening to us that we resort to desperate measures. We go to Google for answers. We text our doctors incessantly. We scour magazines, books, and blogs for help.
What new moms don’t know is that, most of the time, we don’t need answers. We just need reassurance. We need our fears to be dispelled and our spirits to be raised. So don’t fret, dear mama (your growing baby doesn’t want you to!). Here are some things you can tell yourself when you feel confused or consumed by the challenges of pregnancy:
This, too, shall pass. Tired of feeling nauseous, losing appetite and energy, waddling around like a penguin? We totally get it. The symptoms of pregnancy can make new moms reach new heights of frustration. But don’t worry, each symptom has its fair share of time during pregnancy. Usually, the hardest symptoms happen in the first trimester because the body has much adjusting to do. When the hormones have settled, the worst will pass. Besides, symptoms are signs of growth and development for your baby. Embrace them and you will feel more at ease.
Each pregnancy is unique. A lot of pregnant women wonder why they’re stuck in bed while others can hit the gym and don that elusive pregnancy glow. Ladies, please remember that there is no need to compare, especially at such a vulnerable time of a woman’s life. As every body is different, every pregnancy will be different, too. Not being able to run five times a week or eat spinach every day doesn’t equate to an unhealthy pregnancy. Don’t be too hard on yourself. After all, it’s your first time.
It’s okay to take a rain check. It’s a fact we have to face: pregnancy means limitations. No sushi! Bed rest! Early nights! Pregnant women can’t go out as much as they used to or they have to be picky about where they go (bars for drinks? Maybe not.). Don’t feel guilty about turning down an invitation for a night out with your friends or skipping a family reunion. If they care about you (and your baby), they’ll truly understand. And frankly, there are more important things to think about at this point – you’ll have to get used to that!
Go ahead, pamper yourself. This was one advice a mother of five gave to a first-time pregnant friend. When you’re well enough to step out into the sun, get a mani-pedi. Have a massage. Swim. Buy beautiful maternity clothes. Eat with joy and health in mind. ‘It’ll make you feel better and happier,’ she said. And we all know that a happy mom equals a happy baby (and partner!). Carrying around a growing human for nine months gives you an automatic pass to these goodies! But always keep in mind to do only what’s best for you and the baby.
There’s a light at the end of the tunnel. Better yet, there’s a beautiful baby at the end of all the pregnancy humps and challenges. Sometimes, pregnant women have to be reminded that they are doing the most miraculous and amazing job in the world. It’s hard to believe it especially when the bump isn’t evident yet (don’t we all wish we could see through our bellies?) but believe that the body is hard at work doing the one thing only women can do. Be proud of that. Soon, you’ll notice that even though you’re waddling around, there’s a skip in your step, too.
So, first time pregnant mamas, remember that feeling confused, worried, and tired is totally normal. We get it; we’ve all been there. But there’s no need to allow these downcast emotions to define every single day of the entire nine months. Make the first experience a truly engaging and memorable one. After all, there’s only one shot at a first time, right? You’ve got this.
Deanne Bañares-Dimacali is a young housewife, soon-to-be-mom, and dedicated writer. Hoping to create a more thoughtful and storied life, she pens her day-to-day musings on marriage, pregnancy, and womanhood on her blog www.classymusings.com.