I know we haven’t met yet, but I want you to know that I love you. I can feel you growing in my womb, as I watch in amazement as my body changes. Every movement gives me butterflies, because I know that these are signs of life. Of your life.
My life has not been the same since the day I found out that I was pregnant. I dream about you all day….who you will look like, what you will sound like.
I also wonder, will you love me too? And will you find comfort in my arms?
I worry often. Will I be able to protect you from all the evil in the world? It is a beautiful place but real dangers exist and if I could keep in the cradle forever to protect you I would. But I also want you to run, to learn, to love and to live. The true joys of life cannot be experienced in shelter.
I won’t lie to you my darling, I worry often about my health, too many things could go wrong. I lie awake at night thinking about my fears….complications I barely understand. The doctor was honest—intravascular coagulation, a molar pregnancy, eclampsia, abruption placentae, an amniotic fluid embolism, an acute fatty liver, a placenta increate. These words are all medical jargon to me, and all I care about is you and your health. But these do not match my biggest fear of all….my fear of losing you. After all those years of praying for you…I don’t know what I would do if I lost you. Now that we are so close to meeting. Now that I can soon hold you in my arms. A “miscarriage”…I cannot even bring myself to say it out loud.
And after you are born, do my worries end there? Of course not. You will be born tiny, and helpless. Absolutely beautiful, but fragile. Moms have told me about jaundice…about how your skin will turn yellow, and that it could mean so much more than that. That it could cause permanent damage on you…that it could cost you your life. And what about Autism? The mystery disease. Doctors cannot find a cause, and this means I cannot prevent it. It does not discriminate and there is no cure. If it chooses you, will I be able to afford therapy and care? What will happen to you after I am gone, if the disability renders you incapable of taking care of yourself?
These are the worries of an anxious and expectant new mother. But I am not completely helpless. I know there are ways I can protect you. I may not be able to choose if life will be kind to you, but I can do everything in my power to protect you from harm, provide you with your needs, and ensure that you will be cared for. And this is why I am so grateful to have found a partner I can trust—A-Life Joy. Your grandparents protected me and so now it is my turn to protect you, in a new way. This will be my first gift. This is more than a child insurance plan. This will do more than support us if I do have complications while I am pregnant, or if you do fall ill when you are born. This is the gift of peace of mind. This is the gift of life.
My dearest Baby, I will protect you. I will keep you safe.
I cannot wait to meet you!
For more information on A-Life Joy, visit aia.com.my.