The COVID-19 pandemic has brought about several issues to light. Worries about falling ill. Worries about getting enough supplies for the family. Worries about keeping the kids busy. Worries about working from home while also doing all the housework. And weird as it may seem, worries about surviving the quarantine in good terms with one’s spouse or partner.
One would think that marrying or staying with one person for several years is enough proof that we can survive with that one person for the duration of the quarantine. But we also have to consider that even married couples have some time apart. We have work. We can visit other family members. We can go out with friends. But in the time of the quarantine, we’re stuck. We’re stuck with each other for the next few weeks. Well, we feel yah moms (and even dads!)! If you’re (or your partner’s) at the brink of exploding on each other, take a few deep breaths and read on. Here are a few tips on how you and your relationship can survive the quarantine — in good terms:
Stick with your individual routines — or at least, try to.
During this time almost all of us are working from home or trying to. And one downside of this is that most of our regular routines before going to work have largely been ignored or even replaced. But what we don’t realize is that sometimes, our routines (including our morning ones) are part of our “self-care” routines, so it’s best to still try to maintain it as much as possible during the quarantine. And that includes not getting in our partner’s faces every hour, especially since most of us probably belong to different organizations. Bottom line, mind each other’s routine and try to stick with it.
Look at the positives
This might be easier said than done considering the news we’re regularly exposed to, but try to do it even with regards to your partner. Instead of focusing on his/her negatives — like about not washing dishes or not picking up his/her laundry, try to focus instead on his/her positives — like appreciating how he/she wakes up early to try to cook breakfast or trying to keep the kids busy while you’re stuck in that video call.
You should probably decide on something about sex
Whether you’re getting a lot of it or not at this time is not a big issue. But if you do think that it will become a big issue sometime during the quarantine, then it’s best to sit down and talk it out. Remember to be kind to each other and work through your issues. Aside from sex, it’s also best to talk to each other about what each is feeling during this stressful time.
Keep your hands busy
Doing different activities that is. Busy yourself with chores! Working hands can stimulate your heart chakra and help keep you calm. Try to cook recipes that bring back childhood memories. Or set a game night with the entire family. Anything that can keep your hands busy in a few hours is a good alternative for Netflix.
Especially since this involves your family. For most of us, our roles have somewhat changed during the quarantine. Some of us have to juggle childcare responsibilities with work tasks. While others might need to adjust over having another parent take on some of the said childcare. Whatever the case your family might have, it’s best to plan for it accordingly to prevent any possible future blowouts about your current setup not working. Remember, planning could spare both of you unnecessary stress and could strengthen your relationship in the long run.
Always remember that empathy during this time — especially towards your spouse/partner is important. If one of you lost a job, empathize. If one of you feels anxious over the situation, empathize. No matter if it’s the husband or wife who’s falling apart — empathize. Try to understand where your partner is coming from and support him/her in any way you can. And the same goes for you to — try to let him/her understand how you’re feeling so that he/she can better provide the support that you need.
Ultimately, always remember that the quarantine is not permanent. And while our lives will change, try not to do anything that might cause irreparable damage to your family. Hold on, parents.