No parent wants a spoiled kid. And no one wants to admit that they’re raising one either. But chances are, we might be spoiling our kids without us even knowing it. So the question is, are you?
Is my child a spoiled brat?
What exactly is a spoiled kid? If we go by the 90’s standards, then our kids with their tablets and unicorn bejeweled shirts and Nintendo Switches are hands-down, considered spoiled. However, since this is a different generation altogether, they are still normal. But here are a few questions to ask yourself to determine if you are spoiling your child:
- Can your child wear you down to the point of you just giving up on enforcing any kind of limit on him?
- Does your child regularly butt in and take control of adult conversations?
- Do you buy toys regularly just to keep your child from throwing tantrums?
- Do you avoid taking him with you in certain places just to avoid potentially embarrassing situations?
If you answered yes to any of these questions, then you might be raising a spoiled child. So if you want to change that, then you might want to avoid doing these:
Making it easy
Don’t try to make it easy for your child all the time. You don’t have to solve all their problems, give them every opportunity, or keep them happy all the time. Let them figure out things on their own, cope with their situation, and get creative.
Not setting limits
Set clear limits with your child and enforce them, and do it before they wear you down. Do not let your kids have free rein and instead, be the parent and control them. Do keep in mind that limits are not punishments, you can be firm with it and still be respectful of your child.
Not focusing on the important things
You don’t have to set a lot of rules for your child, but you can set rules about your non-negotiables – which should include the values that you would want him to learn. For example, you can set respecting others as a rule. So respecting others’ privacy, stuff, and even conversations should be included in this rule. The important thing is that you know your values, act on it and set the rules that will teach these values to your child.
Not acknowledging their feelings
Kids tend to act out if they feel that their feelings and voice are not taken seriously – even adults will. So it’s best to acknowledge their feelings. If your child is acting out or is upset, let him know that you are listening and willing to understand. But also emphasize that being upset is not an excuse to behave in any way they want.
Giving in easily
Parents have an innate strength – so tap on that strength and do not give in to your child no matter how much he whines or how many judge-y looks you might get from other adults. Giving in to his demands will only let the bratty behavior continue.
Failing to be a role model
Studies show that kids learn to regulate their emotions from their parents. So if your kids see you throwing a fit at every little thing is not a good thing. Learn to manage your emotions and temper. And if you feel stressed or overwhelmed, try to go for a time out away from your kids.
Failing to instill a sense of gratitude and generosity
One of the best ways to instill a sense of gratitude and generosity to your kids is to let them help others in need because doing so makes them feel thankful for what they do have. However, avoid forcing it on them and instead, let them come up with their ways to help.
Not being confident in yourself as a parent
Do not base your worth as a parent on how much your child likes you or how happy he is. Instead, base it on him being a good and well-rounded child. This can help you stick to your parenting principles and accept their feelings.
Remember, you’re doing it with their best interests at heart.