By Katerina Tiapula
It seems a contradiction in terms really. Chores and fun don’t go together. They didn’t in my childhood and I have spent a good portion of my children’s life carrying on that tradition. We’ve worked, toiled and troubled over the daily chores.
I am finding that there is a better way: ‘Make it interesting and give the work value’.
First, it may be necessary to relax the rules and expectations. As children become involved in the household chores, it helps to remember that the goal is not perfection, but to teach responsibility in a supportive way.
In Singapore, it is difficult to enforce household chores since there is frequently a helper standing there ready and willing to relieve the child of their room cleaning tasks or dish washing. Unfortunately, if someone else is always there to make the mess go away, the child doesn’t learn to be responsible.
There is no age minimum for chores although infancy may be a little young. The rule of thumb is – if they can play with toys then they can put them away. They haven’t had a lifetime of getting bored with putting things away yet and don’t mind doing it if you approach it with a happy demeanor. It is all a matter of attitude. Make a game or a race out of picking up toys. Play and sing clearing-up songs and make it fun.
Make a chore chart to keep track.
The chart simply reminds everyone how much each chore is worth. It also clearly shows what has been accomplished and this builds self esteem and confidence. The rewards should vary for each child since each one deals in a different currency. One child may scrub and wash anything for 30 minutes of TV time. One child could be your strictly financial sort wanting to see the cash pile up in the coin jar. Others will only work for time to play with friends. So you have to find out what currency your child deals in first. Whatever the currency, you also need to keep it fun and support them with a positive attitude. The reward isn’t the only reason they are doing the chore. It is also for the positive attention and the feeling of accomplishment.
Structure the chart and make sure the chores are age appropriate. A child of three cannot be expected to mop the floor effectively. It would be difficult physically and demoralizing mentally to ask him to do it. However, a child of three can help fill the bucket with water. Below is a list with some tasks that are good for specific ages. All children mature differently and some chores may be easier while others are more difficult. Let them adjust to each task at their own pace helping them to improve slowly and in a positive way.
When assigning a chore either verbally or on a chart, it should be specific enough for each child to understand. The more detailed the assignment, the easier it is for the child to know what is expected. ‘Clean your room’ is not as clear as ‘put away the clothing on the floor of your room’. Make a space for helping and cooperation. Let them fold clothes with you, wash dishes together and sweep the floor. Yes, you may find yourself giving the floor an extra sweep at night after the kids have gone to bed, but the point is not perfection it is responsibility.
The other thing which seems to make a huge difference is parental participation. Creating games, talking together, and using positive reinforcement throughout the cleaning process are wonderful tools in teaching children how to start and finish their chores. Music helps as it takes your mind off the chore. You just can’t complain and sing at the same time. It also gets you moving so put on something with a nice beat.
A positive attitude towards my own chores is also vital. Do I moan about the laundry? Is the floor a cause of anguish and consternation? Children see this behaviour and will think that this is an acceptable attitude toward chores. If you don’t want them moaning then all moaning should be curbed. Bite the bullet and back yourself up with a positive attitude about the household chores. Put on some music and sing away.
Age appropriate chores:
The chores a child can do increase with ability. If a 12 year-old has never helped with the laundry before, the washing machine can be an intimidating mass of machinery. Give children time to learn how to do things and to build their skills with guidance.
2 -3 year olds
These little tots love to do anything especially if it is together with a parent. Reading time or a game are perfect rewards.
Help make the bed.
Pick up toys.
Take laundry to the laundry room.
Help feed pets.
Help wipe the table.
4 – 5 year olds
They are thieves for stickers and little collectables at this age. Also, they are learning a lot, but their attention span is still pretty short. Constant positive motivation works wonders.
Dust areas without ornaments
Help out in cooking and preparing food.
Carrying and putting away groceries.
Rinsing dishes (without the glassware)
Clear the table.
6 – 8 year olds
This age has an overwhelming desire to be independent. Allow them to do things on their own. Remember that this is a these skills as well as independence need to be learned and practiced.
Vacuum
Empty the trash bins
Fold and put away laundry
Help to wash dishes (be wary of the glassware)
Help clear the table after a meal
Take care of pets
Sweep small areas
Mop small areas
9-12 year olds
These young children are capable of increasing their household responsibilities but consistency at this age is important. Adjust the rewards and chores only when agreed upon by everyone. Consequences of not completing a chore should also be introduced.
Wash dishes
Help prepare light snacks and simple meals.
Operate the washer
Wash school shoes
Help wash the car.
13-17
Teenagers can do or learn most household chores easily. Teenagers are however increasingly overwhelmed with their schedules and learning to manage their life outside of the house. They should still be doing chores but they should be monitored so that the workload is manageable.
Replace light bulbs and vacuum cleaner bags.
All parts of the laundry.
Wash windows.
Clean out refrigerator and other kitchen appliances.
Prepare meals.
Prepare grocery lists.
